I’m one of the lucky ones whose dyslexia was identified early on. While the help I received wasn’t holistic enough to really take care of all of the challenges I face, it was enough to catapult my language understanding to a high level and foster a deep love of reading.
However, some problems still remain. The trickiest thing about learning disabilities, especially when they’re known for effecting a specific area, is that they create challenges in all areas of life. One of the most irritating, and damaging, I have trouble with is in following multi-step instructions. As a result, when something goes wrong with technology, I’m never sure if it’s something I did or if it’s some sort of system glitch. In school, this can result in lower grades. In work, it can result in job loss.
The reason I bring it up is because last night, I know I’d posted some homework, and I’m sure it went through, but by the time it was due today, it was gone.
Behold, the descriptive question mark graphic.
Yeah, I don’t know.
Very frustrating, and I’m suddenly leery of posting to the discussion forum without double and triple checking that it actually took. The worst part is, I don’t know if I’ve managed to miss a step that I’d done countless times, or if it really was the system itself.
Apparently, some other folks had the same problem, so maybe it was the system? Regardless, it’s incredibly frustrating, and even harder not to beat myself up over.
That’s another frustrating aspect of the learning disability experience.
You spend so much time figuring out how to function on the same level as your peers, but you STILL can’t seem to get the hang of the basics. It’s hard not to believe the lies our culture feeds everyone about our lack of intelligence. Even when we make great accomplishments, be they perfect grades, building successful organizations, or creating amazing works of art, we don’t feel like we’ve really earned it. It had to be a mistake, right?
This is where imposter syndrome comes in. How can I be accomplished at anything when I can’t do something as simple as successfully submitting a discussion post on an online forum?
Sadly, the lies society tells us become the lies we tell ourselves.